One blog post said that the happiest you'll be during your medical career is between the time when you receive your acceptance letter and your first day in med school. So far, it's holding true. Half a sem into med school, I've done crazy things, and realized a few as well.

Feeling constricted, I tried to go out as much as I can to hold on to whatever concept of "humanity" and "normalcy" I have, since I was under the assumption that med students are machines made to absorb a lot of information given a short amount of time. I played and organized gigs, I applied for a music org in UP Diliman while being a student of UP Manila, I drank during weekdays, went out to study in Katipunan and other places in QC while living in Manila, and a lot more I don't remember. Basically, while I partied hard, I studied harder.

However, much to my disappointment, I got dismal grades. For my ego, it shattered that image that I built for the past five years. That cum laude at the end of my undergrad transcript suddenly meant nothing as it didn't do anything to help me through my first sem. Fortunately, I've been through things like these and it didn't bring me down as much as it did before.

At the brink of my medical career being jeopardized this early, I don't regret what I did. I'd be going crazy if I left them hanging. I think my grades would've been dismal either way, since I have adjustment problems. So, what's the point?

Aside from learning everything about the body that is normal, I think, this early, that med school is about getting up again as soon as possible from failure. It's about fighting smart not only for yourself but also for others that will benefit from our expertise in the future. I should push forward in the right direction, taking short rests in between. After all, I'm still human.

As the door to my first sem closed only recently, I turn my head now towards the other door--2nd sem. It opens slowly, and a bright blinding light leaks from its corners.